Don't hold your breath

Who is that lady?

2010-11-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

It's me! Ok, so maybe not full blown abs, but hey pretty nice for having 3 kids huh? I am long overdue in posting this photo. We never were able to finish our final 2 weeks. But I continue to work out and am now running... yes for real... I am down to my pre-baby weight. Lost a total of 12-13 lbs. We will be starting up P90x again in January.

Here I am!! Week 9 and 10

2010-09-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

Ok so it has been 2 weeks since my last update. I am sure everyone missed mt update. It has been a struggle the past 2 weeks. Nate has been studying for boards...enough said. Anyway, we still did our workouts. I had too push Nate through this past week. we have decided to go on our maintenance plan for the next 2 weeks and then finish up after boards. The P90x is tough the entire way through, I was not prepared for that. I thought I would get fit and be able to enjoy and breeze through the workouts....NOT TRUE. And though I am more fit now, working out 1 to 1 1/2 hours everyday is just tough. It really takes up a lot of time and energy.

So where does that leave me? For the next two weeks I am eating healthy and working out at least 3 times a week. Doing a strength video and probably 2 cardio videos. Sounds good to me! Nate will do the same and pour over the books until Sept 30!!

Oh yeah my grocery bill last week racked up $120. I laughed at the checkout because I had just come to grips with the $150. Anyway, it was a nice surprise!!

Results: NONE of my shorts and pants fit me anymore. Seriously, I need new ones because I have no booty anymore. I told Nate that I need to eat more so my pants will fit :) I had the chance to drink a soda the other night and I still chose not to. It has been 3 months since my last sip and it sort of scares me at this point. I no longer crave it, and yet having one is so so tempting. I LOVE the results of this program. I have never looked or felt better. I just have to remind myself that all the hard work is what has gotten me these results!

Pasta is calling my name - Week 8

2010-08-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

Just completed week 8 of P90x. I can hear the carbs calling my name as we enter the final stage of the program. The athletes diet....CARBS!!!!!!!!!! Yay for pasta!! Ok as far as this past week. It was a rest week so we went back to some of the oldie but goodie workouts we did the first month. And they still kicked my butt. I mean....Core Synergistics is just horrible. Not as bad as Plyo. But still! I made it through and am gearing up for the next 5 weeks. I really can't think of much more to say other than I worked out and I worked out hard. I ate how I was supposed to, maybe closer to the 1800 calorie diet than the 2400 calorie diet or somewhere in between.

So my new and improved grocery list with less meat and more carbs landed me at $158. Ha ha. So, there you have it. Regardless of what I do, it is just my magic number. I want to shave off $20-$30. I really do. I only get the essentials, even for the kids no chips not that many snacks, no junk AT ALL. But I guess that is why it is so high. I buy lots of fruit and that is pricey. I enjoy how every week I am surprised that I can't meet my goal of $130. And every week I rant and rave about why it is so high. I will just resign myself to the fact that it costs roughly $600 to feed a family of 5 healthy food for an entire month every meal of the day every day of the week ( including diapers and cleaners). Ok there, I'm done!

Results:
I lost another 2 pounds!!! In case you are curious as I know you are I was at 151 when we started and today when I stepped on the scale I was 145! That is 6 pounds, and below my pre Kaden weight. I was way too skinny before I had Addison and so 137 doesn't seem possible. I am happy with that. Only now my jeans don't fit. I guess that means new clothes right! My back is still painful, not all the time...but just annoying. Great week!

I almost forgot- week 7

2010-08-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

This has been such a crazy week getting ready for school to start and all that I almost forgot to blog about the past week!! Anyway, pretty uneventful week. I am starting to get a little lax on my meal plan. Don't get me wrong, we are still following the portion plan only breakfast has become a pick your own type of thing. We have gotten into the groove of knowing we get 1 carb at every meal and breakfast is usually a carb, dairy, fruit and protein power in there somewhere. That could be a bowl of oatmeal, bagel, pancakes, kashi cereal or protein shake. Lunch is boiling down to turkey sandwiches, carrots, and a V8 (for Nate, I hate the stuff). OR leftovers. It is nice, kinda feels like we eat this way all the time. I guess it is sinking in!

Grocery shipping was great, $150. There is that number again! I switched to some frozen veggies because of the variety and they are cheaper sometimes. Cut out Salmon and do Tilapia instead, for the same reason, cheaper. Ummmm...yeah that's about it.

Oh yeah, I went to McDonalds for the first time in over 2 months. Addison had to get another shot for school and he chose to have McDonalds be his treat. I researched the nutritional info before I went and was able to eat a grilled chicken sandwich and a small berry smoothy. It was filling and I enjoyed it. I think I enjoyed knowing I was full and I was meeting my 600 calorie, 12 grams of fat limit. And I snagged 2 of Kaden's fries, and they were good. But I didn't crave anymore than that, self control is tough. The kids ate their entire happy meal, which they never used to do. I think we all appreciated the special trip a whole lot more than we usually did.

Results, I lost another 1-2 pounds. Honestly I think because I am just not eating as much, I am lucky to get my snacks in, and my portions are smaller then what I am supposed to be getting. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe not. I am not looking to bulk up like the Hulk so, a leaner me would be great!

Half Way There - Week 6

2010-08-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

This week went pretty well. I fell back into not wanting to workout. One of the workouts I was dragging until about 30 minutes in, then I felt great! I don't know why, my energy was zapped this week. I was soooo looking forward to my day off yesterday. So what did I do....I went grocery shopping with Addison the hyperactive energizer bunny. He was jumping all around the store running into people, getting run over and so on. I am so much better able to handle his antics when he is by himself. Otherwise he drags his siblings into the mix and things get ugly...fast. Although he did get hugged by the creepy oversized HEB grocery bag, named Buddy I think. I thought he did ok with it, cause most of the other kids just screamed :) Anyway I spent $160. Seems like no matter what I do, there I am! On the menu for this week : Kung Pao chicken / Chicken in Shells / Shrimp Pompodoro / Hamburgers / Baked Tilapia / King Ranch Chicken. YUM!!! I also have to once again mention that grilled Pork Tenderloin with rub is by far the BEST way yo eat pork. TRY IT NOW! TRY IT NOW! 5- 4 -3 -2 Try it now! ( a little tribute to THE OFFICE)

Boys start school next week and I am nervous. But I think it will give me more time during the day to have some peace and rejuvenate for my workouts!

Results: I've got muscle! I see some new indentations in my abs and my legs are like rocks! I bought a pair of new hot workout shorts because my other ones are now too big! I'm still 3 pounds down. I know you are thinking...3 lbs...lame. But really I was not overweight, just out of shape. SO give me a break! He he. Also, the lunches the past two weeks have been so easy to prepare, we just do a turkey sandwich with some veggies or a wrap...easy peasy.

Finally! Week 5

2010-08-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Week 5 is done~ I broke through my wall and now I'm back. This week reminded me of week 1 because I switched to the classic mode with a few new workouts, plyometrics being the mother of all hated workouts. It was insaine!!! I hurt so bad I was begging, yes begging for Yoga X. It was a nice break to get to the Yoga X workout on Thursday. It is so funny that I would say that because it used to be Yoga X that I dreaded, now it is what I look forward to :)

So, I know you are interested in my grocery bill for this week......$150. Not to shabby, Glad not to be back up closer to the $200 mark. Yay! I still bought a ton of meat, but I think I am figuring out how to try to do it for less. My main problem is I can only shop at HEB or Walmart. Both are close to the same prices, but on any given week one is cheaper than the other. I need to buy the large 4 lb pork tenderloins at Walmart and split them in half. Freeze for 2 meals. I grilled one this week with a great rub and it was oh so yummy. Took a little over an hour on the grill. SUPER AMAZING! I have had people ask me what my kids eat. And they get a well balanced meal. They just eat what we eat with no portion requirements. They are not by any means on a low carb diet. But I do not make them special meals. If I make fish, they eat fish (or try it anyway) plus veggies and rice or noodles. Low carb lasagna with bread, or chili with crackers and cheese. I never keep the carbs from them, or fat for that matter. It gets a little tricky when I make them popcorn, but can't eat any myself. A true test of my will power.

Onto Results:
Holding firm to my 3 pound weight loss. I also pulled out a really old pair of shorts that were about 2 sizes too small and I could zip them up. Still a tad bit too tight, but I couldn't even pull them up before. I have lots more energy this week, I mean...LOTS! Yay for carbs! My parents were so inspired by my results they are going to do the P90X as well. So it looks like we will have a few more beach body babes!

Week 4 - Just have to keep going!

2010-08-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

I seem to have hit a little bit of a brick wall this week. It was supposed to be a "rest" week, whatever that means, because we still workout everyday. No strength training this week, just cardio and Yoga. Anyway, it was still hard. I was a little down this week thinking things are never going to get easier with this workout stuff. I didn't have the motivation to work out...at all. I still did it, but what really gets to me is that at times I feel imprisoned by having to work out every day. Example: I went to a fabulous dinner with the Auxillary and then had to leave at a decent time so I could get home to work out. I don't feel free to go out nights because I have to work out. Yoga takes an hour and a half to complete, it is very hard to go into a workout knowing you will be in pain for an hour and a half. So, I don't mean to be down, I think I am just hitting a brick wall and I have to push through it. It isn't forever that I will be working out everyday. When this is done I am going to go down to every other day.

The nice thing is that I got a treat and wen't to Cheesecake Factory this week. Not to eat, but I did have some appitizer and a bit of cheesecake. It was yummy and a nice escape. YUM! I am a little bit more relaxed with the meal plan now. I think I am just getting into a groove. I spent $170 on groceries this week. BLAH! Man I just keep hitting these numbers. You are all probably wonder what the heck I buy. Well, whole grain things just cost so much more as do low fat cheese, whole grain pasta, whole grain bagels, and so on. They don't ever seem to be on sale either. I did still buy all the nuts Nate and my kids seem to scarf down in a week. The thing is I bought little to no meat, since I did that last week. Just depressing, I am certainly NOT in budget yet. What to do...I have to think about a better strategy. To give myself a little credit I did purchase more because my parents are coming this week, YAY! Also, we don't eat out AT ALL. So, this is every meal every day for 5 people. It just seems pricey to me.

OK OK...so onto results: I put on a pair of pants that I alsmost gave to Goodwill because they were too small...and they FIT!! So, yay for losing inches! I can tell a difference in my body shape. I was able to have a turkey wrap this week and it was so so so good! Even with the whole grain tortilla, I loved it! If you ever dislike whole grain breads or pasta, go without carbs for 4 weeks and then try it. You will LOVE IT...he he.

Week 3 - Here we go again

2010-07-25T13:18:00.001-07:00

So this week felt a bit like week 1. I am not as sore, but it seems I have run out of steam. I am exhausted!!! Not only that but my grocery trip racked up $199 today. I guess I ran out of a lot of the things I bought that first trip and now I am having to stock up again. I literally bought probably 2-3 canned goods in that trip, the rest is meat, fresh veggies(lots), nuts, meat, protein bars( yes I even attempted my own and they were gross), cheese, meat, whole grain tortillas, meat. Did I mention that I had to buy meat?Anyway, I told Nate some of the extras are just going to have to go. I know he loves the nuts for a snack and artichoke hearts on his salad. But that stuff really adds up. I used coupons today for what I could. But lets face it, they don't issue manufacturers coupons for lettuce and apples. Oh yeah, I also had to get the super mega toilet paper package. As much as I want to keep the budget down, buying in bulk just makes sense. I am confident I will not have to buy much meat next week, as #1 we are moving on to stage 2, lower protein, a little bit more carbs....YEAH! #2 I just bought a ton today. I buy large amounts of chicken, pork, turkey and freeze it in meal sized portions. Oh yeah, a note for any and all people turning to ground turkey. YOU MUST GET THE WHITE MEAT 93/7 Ground Turkey. The 85/15 ground turkey has even more fat than a lean ground beef. Ha, yeah I even bought a turkey sausage without looking and it packed a whopping 17g of fat per serving!!! Higher than the regular pork sausage!!! Anyway, just cause it says turkey doesn't mean it's the best. Like I said, I am learning...

Ummmmmmmmm....the workouts kicked my butt. My knee was on the mend until Yoga X and that tore it up again. The next day was legs and that killed it completely. Now I am back to icing it and resting. It doesn't help that I did all the yard work yesterday as well.

My addiction to soda has tempted me more this week then the previous two. I realized I associate it with cleaning, grocery shopping, and many other things. It was sort of my motivation to dig into house cleaning, like a little reward. I get soda and everyone else gets a clean house, booya! Now what do I get....a big glass of water...yippy...I mean Pepsi you were there for me. You thanked me for all of my hard work by being so sweet and gave me a pep to my walk. I even thought about trying a diet soda, ewww, but I think that is even worse. The problem is the sugar, artificial sweeter high that my body gets, then I crash and need calories. I think it is the same deal for both regular and diet sodas, both are probably no good so why get started on something that is bad for me again.

Results:
My calves are starting to get defined. I think I actually lost like 2 pounds. I am super duper hungry most of the time, so I must be burning the calories. So I think my clothes fit differently, so that is good. I did some crazy Yoga stuff I couldn't do before. Grilled shrimp marinaded in light Italian dressing is AWESOME! I learned that I like baked Tilapia with some parmesean cheese on it better than grilled Tilapia.

Week 2 - If it isn't one thing It's another.

2010-07-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well this week has gone great, minimal soreness with more energy. But I seemed to have replaced that with tendonitis in my left knee. It hurts pretty much all the time, so much that I wear a knee brace to work out. It pains me to think that after all my hard work I will have to take a break and nurse my knee back to health...blah! If it isn't one thing it's always another.

On a better note, gorcery shopping landed me at $130 this week. We are getting closer!! I have even more new recipes and last weeks new ones were so delicious I even forgot I was on a diet! Well...almost...except the crazy amount of meat I am still eating. The good news is that I was able to eat out for lunch one day, had some delicious low carb foods, water and was completely satisfied. I am starting to be able to look at fast food places /fried foods and not want to eat them. I know how horrible they are and how bad bad bad they are for my body. It really helps that every meal is planned out a week in advance, no spur of the moment decisions to grab a quick bite. You have NO IDEA HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS! I can also just filter a food through my low carb/low calorie criteria and know if the answer is Yes or No, black and white.
Will I drink a soda again, or eat a Cheeseburger...you bet. Will I do it every week, NOPE.

So now who am I? That crazy health nut who scolds others for bad food choices. No! I am reinventing myself to practice what I preach. As we roll past a McDonalds, without fail I hear Kaden pipe up from the back seat "McDonalds is a treat just like Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's not good for our bodies." (or mommy's pocket book) Yes Kaden! That's right. Fun to do every once and a while but not every day. So, now I have to live that. Soda is not good for my body. Fun every once and a while but not everyday.( I am still working on this craving, 2 weeks clean and sober :) I realize it is my job to teach my kids what food is good for our bodies, and that it is yummy. And every once and a while we get a treat. I am a work in progress...

Results:
Kaden ate the low carb lasagna this week as well as broccoli, he actually ate it! They love turkey bacon too.
I have lost no weight, but Nate says my shoulders are better defined as well as my abs.
I can do these scissor things I couldn't do last week. And I no longer dread the workouts, and seem to get through them easier!
Fruit never tasted so good. I guess that is the lack of sugar from the soda my body usually gets.

Whah?

2010-07-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Nani (Her nickname, a weird morph from Juliana to Juli-nana to nana and now nani ) loves markers, pencils, crayons...anything that makes a big mess. Here she is in her glory after finding a black marker the boys left out. And if you call her name she turns and looks at you like this..and says "Whah?"

Week 1 - GIMME SOME PASTA!!

2010-07-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

Ok so, all I want right now is a big bowl of pasta, any kind...but no meat please. I have eaten so much meat this week, I even despise eating steak (which is one of my favorites). Of course this should come as no surprise considering taking carbs almost completely out of my diet and doubling the protein. Good news is that in a week or two I get to put them back in!! So overall, I feel good. I have been sore everyday, the workouts kick my butt and I sweat more than I have in my life. I have gone an entire week without soda, I do miss it at times. But I know drinking it will set me back, I need to change that sugar intake anyway. On to new and better things!

A few days I was so sore could barely get up the steps, but I made it! So, this is day 7 a rest day...YAY! No workouts today so I went grocery shopping for this week. I decided to make my own menu to cut down on costs, a few where we can take leftovers for lunch. It was a grueling process to make the menu and count the calories, but I am proud of the end result. The food this past week was really good a few dud recipes, but for the most part pretty delicious. I have cooked dishes with ingredients I have never tried before, and that was super cool. I also have a few "keeper" sauces and recipes to add to my healthy list. I have to admit the cooking got a bit overwhelming at times, hence the revamp for week #2. My grocery bill was $160 including diapers/cleaning supplies and "family food" the kids can eat (they eat more than I do). So P90x food probably ran at around $100. Not too BAD... Still not where I want it to be, I need to be closer to $120 for the week. Those protein bars are pricey!

Results: I can fit into some pants that were too tight last week, but have not lost any weight. I can tell my legs are firming up and my "muffin top" (aka lovehandles) is getting smaller. A few days I felt drained of energy, but things have picked up. It is at those moments that I want to go out and get a soda, but I am glad to say I have had the will power to fight my urges and instead grab a glass of water. Mostly my legs kill me all the time everything else is decently sore.

The best thing of all is that Nate and I have had time to spend together, seeing each others succeses and...well... fall-on-the-floor failures. Those are the things that bring a couple together and for that I am truly thankful. Now we get to be Beachbody Babes together too!!

Starting the P90x!

2010-07-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

Nate and I have decided to embark on our journey with the P90x fitness program. Yes, I want to be a ripped mama!! Ok mainly I want to do this with Nate and to gain more confidence in myself, my physical abilities and to become a healthier and more active family.

So this is the first day. I have spend the past 2 weeks going over the meal plan and menu. I decided to give the menu they outlined a chance and stick with their meals 100% for the first week. I was hesitant because the recipes call for many ingredients, some are expensive. My first grocery trip cost $260 for all of the food. Some will last for 2 weeks and probably $80 of it were spices, cooking wines/vinegars and so on. Probably one time purchases for the 90 days. I have to admit that I need to do more research on less expensive fish and substitutes for some of the pricier veggies. I purchased herb plants to save some money. For the most part the plan looks good, and yummy. The main reason I want to try all of the recipes is because I want a good understanding of how to cook healthy, and eventually how to do it on a budget. Since this is not a weight loss program, there is SOOOO much food, I have yet to finish a meal. First 2 weeks is Fat Shredder, low low carb and high protein.

They also have a portion control plan where I can make my own meals/recipes as I choose as long as I portion out proteins/carbs/fat/veg... to what I am allowed during my day. I may go this direction to save some money if the meals get to out of control expensive.

Today I cooked the Red Pepper Soup to go with dinner and there is enough for this week and next, so I froze the portion for next week. Tonight is Salmon/wild rice/asparagus. I also have to make the shrimp stir-fry for lunch tomorrow so Nate can take it with him. LOTS of cooking, but I don't mind because I like it! Plus, the Shrimp stir-fry can be a future dinner menu item if we like it.

We did our fitness test yesterday and I broke a sweat doing that, so tonight I think I am going to die during the workout!! My muscles are sore from yesterday...

Stay tuned for more updates!!

Livin' in the Southwest!!

2010-06-21T09:01:00.001-07:00

It has been a long great while since I have updated here. Now that I am so far away from family I should get back on the horse and start capturing these moments by blogging.

Right now I am waiting for the water heater to warm by shower water up. One more thing we need to fix on our LONG list of to-dos for this house. The pilot light seems to only go out when it is my turn to take a shower, go figure.

The past month has truly been a whirlwind. The movers came to to get our things May 10th, Followed by Nate's graduation from Medical School on the 15th...that included a trip to Kirksville. I loved to see Nate graduate, I am so proud of him. Really, he is truly amazing and totally smart.

Although, it took all of about 1 minute to realize that I truly do not miss that place. So many hard memories, so many I have worked through, and yet it hits me like a brick to go back. As we roll into the town the first word that pop out are..."Now what do we do, well I have to go to Walmart." HA!

One of the other highlights of that trip was seeing my good friend Tasheena, it seems that the emotion of being back in the 'ville all came forward when I finally got to hug her after 2 years. I never realized just how much I missed our friendship. She is a real life saver, a tride and true friend and I cherish the journey we shared together through 2 of the hardest years of my life. Thanks girl!

On the 17th of May we closed on our house in Normal, Il and headed up to the frozen tundra of Sheboygen, WI to spend a week visiting Nate's side of the family. We were officially homeless, with only an "estimated" closing date...which ended up being the worst nightmare of a closing experience we have ever had. We took 3 days and drove down to San Antonio fully expecting to close Friday the 28th. To make a long and stressful story short we were hung out to dry for another week by the bank. Spent the days hotel hopping not knowing if today will be the day we close...or NOT. We "unofficially" closed on Thursday June 3rd. Kaden got to spend the day before, his birthday, being toted all over San Antonio finally to end up at a Chuck-E-Cheese all hot and sweaty. Happy Birthday little dude, let me have a big scary mouse bring you a cake!

Even though we did not "officially" even own the house on Thursday....we moved in!! Technically we should not have because it was owned by the bank. So until Friday morning we "untechnically" owned the house. Main reason for moving in early, the movers were scheduled to arrive early Friday morning with all of our belongings. There was NO WAY I was going to reschedule that, it could push it back weeks!

YAY!!! Our long and tiring homeless experience was OVER!! I did not care that the air conditioning didn't work, I was living out of a cooler, and had no place to wash my clothes...I WAS FINALLY HOME!! Yes, the air was fixed, the washer and dryer arrived, as did my fridge a week later.

What a journey!

Random Thoughts

2009-11-17T08:45:00.001-08:00

I have so many random thoughts throughout the day. Right now I know I should be folding laundry to keep up, because I have a HUGE pile to fold..ugh...but this sounds like more fun.

Here are a few I had today...

...the best thing that pampered chef makes are the little brown scrapers they give away with the stones. I use mine everyday, but I don't use anything else pampered chef...HA!

...what if we pooped a different shape, I mean then the plumbing and toilets would be different right?

....I love rain but not cold rain, just warm rain.

....how come every time I blow my nose the snot I just blew out is immediately replaced with new fresh snot to clog my sinuses.

....the worst part about a cold is the first day or two when all you taste is snot and all food tastes like snot ( the drainage stage), at least if you are just congested food tastes like nothing...but not snot.

...would Nate be mad if I just ripped the carpet out of my dining room. Maybe? ...surely not...just do it....no not today!

Well, that is it for now, but I have only been up for 4 hours, so I think that is pretty impressive :)

...

Not MY kid...

2009-11-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Kaden has been playing like he is a cat lately. Addison calls him "kitty" and they really get into this. Although, Kitty gets punched a lot... Kaden will even not talk to me and then say "Kitty's don't talk" Anyway the other day they were doing this while Nate was home and I too was calling Kaden "kitty". And then Nate said, "I don't want to have the kid who acts like a cat all the time, so please don't encourage this." It just made me laugh because I know the kind of kid Nate is talking about only they are 10 and completely lost in the fantasy of being a cat. One girl I knew just went around hissing at people all the time, HA HA. I hardly think Kaden, at 3 falls into that catagory, BUT I think it is hilarious because most things bother me more than Nate.

How do I let go of the guilt?

2009-10-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Guilt! Nate says I am the most guilty person in the whole world. Meaning, that I feel guilt for everything. How can I sit here and eat this McDonald's hamburger when children all over the world are dying of starvation. Why is it I have my entire family here with me when others lose theirs? I hardly ever spend money on myself, when I do I can't help but think it is not necessary and better spent on something else. What do I do with that? Do I let it go, or is that just who I am. I think of countless families whom I have seen struggle with the loss of a child or who's children have a very serious illness. It isn't that I am afraid of that happening to me, but I feel guilty that it is them and not me. Do I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders? Why do I do that? This world is not my home, I anxiously await the day when there will be no tears, when I stand the the presence of my God and sing his praise without ceasing. Right now I am trying to lay it all at Jesus' feet, to let it go and live a life surrendered to Him. That is all I know how to do. I can't save the world, I can't heal someone's pain, but Jesus can. He can save our souls, and maybe through me he can change the world! Is it guilt or is it the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart to soften it to the needs of those around me? I am WAY too emotional, and I think WAY too much...

I thought we were past this!

2009-10-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

Ok here is an entertaining story. Kaden asked me to help him find his Superman hat. I said to wait a minute and promptly forgot to help him. I go to take a shower and enter my closet to get my clothes and find Kaden sitting on top of a PILE of Nates work clothes. Shirts/jackets/sweaters/BDU's/pants. Thrown from the hangers flooding out the closet door. I did not yell...I did not scream...I said "what are you doing!" with a bit of shock in my voice. Kaden fell apart crying "I can't find my hat" I kept my cool, I held him and apologized for forgetting to help. He only took matters into his own hands, and looked. Only he took the entire closet down in the process - I thought we were past these big messes. I did not take a photo, because I made him help me clean it all up right away. I did not want to humiliate him. Anyway, we never found the hat, but we both learned how to handle the situation -

Kaden- don't tear Mom and Dad's closet apart - NOT COOL.

MOM- find out the reason behind the behavior even if he just tore your closet apart and made a BIG mess for you to clean up. GO MOM!!!

What is going ON!!!

2009-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

What is going on with this blog....apparently nothing. I could tell you that three kids is really hard and I work all the time on cleaning the house and cooking. BUT really I am just lazy. My life isn't really that hard. I have three great, healthy kids...a loving husband...enough money to not only survive but enjoy life...a savior who died for my sins so I can spend eternity with him. So I really have nothing to complain about.

So hmmm....no complaining....what do I write about....

Ok, I can't resist writing about the kids. Juliana ate little cooked apple pieces yesterday and my chicken and stuffing dinner. I know you are thinking, big deal. But for her it is!! She usually acts like she gags on any chunky food. We still have not mastered Cheeerio's. I finally got her to eat the Gerber puffs. I was feeling like she would be on baby food FOREVER. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Kaden is getting sick, with what I had for over 2 weeks. YUCK! He loves preschool and is sad because he can't go today. He tells me that Jesus is in his heart all the time, Jesus and blood (Dad had to pull the WELL ACTUALLY, you have blood in your heart too because blah blah blah). Oh the faith of a child!

Addison is into video games. Yes, my 4 year old can almost play the Wii better than I can. Now, please don't think he spends all day playing. He looks forward to Saturday when he gets to play with Dad. That is right....only a few hours/one day a week. But he always askes me how many days until Saturday. He is also a collecter, collect rocks, toys, buzz lightyears, you name it!

It was a LONG and Short summer. Nate was gone a total of 12 weeks. We made it!! Now he has interviews and the Military match in December. Come on San Antonio!!! Anyway. I think that wraps it up. I will try not to wait so long for my next post!

Nothing NEW!

2009-03-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

So, really I have very little new and exciting things going on right now. I thought I would just post an update. Juliana is getting BIG, she is in 6-9 month clothes even though she is only 4 months. The funny thing is that she is pretty "average" so do they make girls clothes smaller? Kaden is potty trained ....YEAH!!! He has accidents occasionally, but hey I can handle those. Addison told me he was 8 today because he knows how to use scissors. Oh yeah and did you know that there are such things as day AND night pants. Yes...you get to wear them both day and night. Thank you Addison for enlightening me about these special pants that I never knew existed. I learn something new everyday! Now I just need to figure out where to get me a pair.

We were at goodwill the other day and Addison picked up this beat up broken Buzz Lightyear toy. It was a BLUE one, we have a green one at home. The thing is WELL USED. I was going to make him put it back, but I just couldn't bear it, so I forked over the $1.99 for the piece of junk. And would you believe that it is his favorite toy? Yes, he plays with it about everyday, he doesn't even care that the helmet is broken. Who would have thought?

Kaden's newest gimmick is that he pretends to eat you when he gets mad at you. No, not biting, but playfully pretending to EAT you. complete with pretend chewing.

Now Addison is laying in bed singing "Come on lets do the poopy dance, come on...come on...come on."

Oh I have about a million things to laugh at every day!

I am "that" mom

2009-02-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

Oh how I always had my opinions of what I would be like as a mother. My pre-mom ideas of what I would and wouldn't do. As I walked through the grocery store I would make the mental notes..."wow that mom is really mad at her kids, I would never do that in a grocery store." --- "look at that little brat crying over not getting candy, my kids will never do that." --- " oooh that little boy is throwing a temper tantrum, my kids wouldn't do that --- or it would be corrected immediately." ---- You know what I mean....all those snot nosed brats and their incompetent mothers. Well, I can officially say that I AM THAT MOM....

I am THAT mom whose kid is sitting in the middle of the parking lot in the middle of the freaking cold winter throwing a fit. All the while practically dragging him so he doesn't get run over by a car yelling at the older kid to stop and come back to mommy while juggling an infant car seat in the other hand (TODAY)

I am THAT mom with three kids in the next doctors office who's baby is crying and two boys keep banging into the walls.

I am THAT mom who's kids you are dodging in the grocery store because they don't look where they are going.

I am THAT mom who places miscellaneous items at the checkout because I am too busy/lazy/tired to take them all the way back to where they belong. Plus, one of the boys probably dropped it in the basket without me looking.

I am THAT mom who licks her finger and wipes various crumbs and smudges from my children's mouths.

I am THAT mom whose little boy is screaming "no" at the top of his lungs in the grocery store.

I am THAT mom who's kids are crawling in the clothes stands at the department stores knocking down all the shirts/pants/bras/undies and everything else you can imagine....gosh that is sooooo annoying :)

I am THAT mom with a stroller full of kids that make you say "don't you know what birth control is?"

I am THAT mom nursing her baby in public with no blanket, because I forgot one and the child NEEDS TO EAT.

I am THAT mom who's kid has no pants on when you come to the door because he keeps pooping in them.

I am THAT mom who is out and about with a kid who has a big bird shirt ( I swore my kids would never wear character shirts), grey sweats, dissheveled hair and a snotty crusted nose --- because mom is just not dealing with it today.

I am THAT mom who's little boy is crawling under all the stalls in the bathroom while his mom is taking a leak. Peek-a-boo...I surprised you!

Yes my friends....
I am THAT mom.

A night out on the town.

2009-01-19T06:02:00.000-08:00

The day started with an onslaught of snow. It seems the first major snow we have had here..of course we have had plenty of ice. I woke up to the wonderful thought that tonight was my night out. Courtesy of my wonderful husband, who was going to stay with the kids while I went to an auction. It seems that an auction might be the best way to get some much needed items for the house on our tight budget.

I was stoked! I couldn't wait until 3 when my "alone" time would begin. I was already plotting in my mind what I might grab to eat on my way to the auction. It seems forever since we have eaten out...even fast food. It is just WAY to expensive since the boys need something as well. I once spent $18 for the the boys and I at McDonald's. I was shocked, but that is another story for another time.

Nate sent me a text to see if everything was a "go" for tonight. I hadn't even thought things would be canceled. But sure enough, the auction was canceled for the night. Boo! I was so discouraged. When Nate got home he told me to go out anyway and do something. YEAH! So, now I had to figure out what to do. So, where else would I go but the mall. I fought the bitter cold to get into the mall but all the time thankful I wasn't dragging 3 kids with me.

As I entered I spotted the Bath and Body works. Oh how I love their hand soap, it smells so good. And it was on sale too. I put that in the back of my mind and I wandered around the shops, maybe I would indulge and get one. I decided that I really didn't NEED soap, so I should probably pass on that one.

Then I saw a hair salon, fantastic idea...a haircut! I really did need a haircut...BAD. So I stopped in and was happy to see that there was no wait. And a cut was only $15, my kind of bargain. I was lead to a chair and the lady proceeded to ask what I wanted done. It has been probably 7 or 8 months since my last cut. But I wanted it cut short and where the front comes down longer than the back. So...she begins. I had a few tweaks here and there, but was pleased for the most part. It was hard to tell because I just paid for the cut and no style. So I left with my damp hair. Feeling lighter than normal and slightly feminine again. I strolled past Claire's and overcome with my new femininity, I went in...just to see! My ears are super sensitive, so I have not worn earrings in eons. I know that I would need sterling silver, so I head right for that rack. The prices weren't too bad. Dare I buy them? I know Nate would want me to have something and he would love them on me. So I did it...I bought two pairs, since my ears are double pierced. As I walked out of the store, I held miserly onto my little Claire's bag. Man it has been a long time since I bought something from a mall store. Not to mention earrings which serve no utilitarian purpose. Usually it would be shoes for one of the boys, or my last purchase of a purse that practically adheres itself to my body so I wont keep leaving them in the carts at the stores. This purchase was just for me, It felt so....weird.

I quickly put the earrings on and they went through just fine. I am sure the holes didn't close up anyway, never much had a problem with that. I decided I was hungry so I decided to grab some Panda Express, another one of my favorites. I sat there alone in the food court, watching people, thinking about life. It felt good to have time just to sit and reflect, something I love to do but is often interrupted by my energetic children.

Tonight was shaping up to be a great night. I found a picture at Hobby Lobby that Nate told me I could get for above our couch. We have been looking for some time, and this one was 50% off, a great deal. That was the climax of the night because after that, it all went downhill. When I got home I showed off my new haircut. Nate said warily that it looked "good". Hmmm...just "good"... then I heard the word "alright". What was wrong with it? Then said, "what did she do to the back?" I freaked. What did he mean? Sure enough there was a line in the back of super short hair...maybe the stylists version of a "layer." I didn't think too much about it, I was enjoying my night and still wanted to hit the Home Depot for paint. Nate did love the earrings though.

I got the paint from Home Depot and made my way back home. When I opened the back door to get the paint out I noticed one of the can had tipped over and paint spilled all over the seat. OH NO!!!! I ran inside to tell Nate. All the while I feel the aftereffects of the oily Panda Express coming to haunt me, I feel nauseous. He took the carpet cleaner out in the sub zero temps to clean as much out as he could. To make a long story short, we now have a frozen paint stain in our back seat/trunk and $200 credit at Home Depot ( it is a crap car anyway, so don't freak too much about our new stain). The next morning I spent a good hour trimming my own hair from the mess that the mall lady made of it. I finally got to see the poor job she did and had a little freak out session of my own. I am happy with it now, but as I am cutting my hair with the scissors I repeat over and over to the boys....don't you ever do what mommy is doing. Goodness knows I don't need them cutting their own hair.

What a night. What a mess. What an adventure.

Addison's 4th birthday

2009-01-19T06:01:00.001-08:00

Addison's 4th birthday was a BLAST. Complete with a Spiderman cake...made by myself and Aunt Net. And to top it off, this was during the ice storm in December, so my parents didn't have any electricity!! It was quite the adventure, but surely a birthday to remember.

Just a thought

2008-12-30T11:23:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to comment on the recent economic crisis. Although I don't think that the US economy crashing is a good thing, I can't help but think there might be SOME good in all of this. For example...our frivolous spending habits. Maybe people will think twice about what they are buying --- or where their money is going. Perhaps we will reflect on what we need versus what we want. When the gas prices where skyrocketing, that made us try to conserve, buy more efficient vehicles, dare I say actually care about the environment because it was now affecting our pocketbooks. When I say "we" I am also speaking about myself. Classic example. When I lived in a tiny town in Missouri, I was practically forced to recycle because of a 33 gallon trash limit. Oh, we could throw out more at the price of $1 per bag. But I didn't...being the frugal person I am. I recycled anything and everything. Often having more in the recycle bin than in my garbage can. Now, I can't help but recycle because I saw how much of what we use can be reused. Cereal boxes, plastic bottles, cans...you name it...I even drive it to the recycling center since they don't pick it up in my new city. Why? because someone else hit me where it hurts...the pocketbook and forced me to change my habits. Sad but True.

The saga of a postpartum woman...

2008-12-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well, life is good. Really good. God is good and even when life seems to be hard I just remind myself that all of my family's needs are met. We are happy and have so many blessings. Ever since Juliana's birth I have been dealing with what might be a bladder or uterine prolapse. My doctor tells me that he wouldn't diagnose anything yet, all this is normal for just having a baby. HA! What is "normal" anyway? Why don't people tell you what happens after having a few babies. Even with this wierdness hanging over my head, I am really happy right now. I am sure that I will not want to carry another pregnancy for fear that my "normal" 3rd baby body might just fall apart. I would consider adoption though, if I really would like another child. The kids are growing like weeds. I am finally ready to potty train Kaden, but he has to have surgery on his hydrocele first. Oh boy....here we go again! My moods have been really good lately, now that I hardly feel my prolapse problem anymore. I have my bad days, but they don't get me down anymore. I feel like I can funciton on a normal level now. I actually am ready to start painting my house, something I didn't think would ever happen just a month ago.

I am looking forward to watching my 3 babies grow, teaching them about my Lord and Savior. I really enjoyed this Christmas teaching my 4 year old what it means to give to others. Mimicing the way God chose to give us himself through Jesus. I love leaving out Santa and having fun buying gifts for each other. Addison's face lit up with excitement as Kaden opened the superman pajamas he picked out for him. It was soooo much fun. Everytime I make my bed with the new comforter Nate and the boys got for me I tell Addison and Kaden how beautiful it is and how good they are at giving....they smile big cheesy grins. Thank you Jesus for giving me so much!

A million more?

2008-11-22T12:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was obviously on cloud 9 when I wrote that I could have a million more...because I am fairly certain that this will be my last one. Recovery has been really hard this time around. I have been slow to get back on my feet and I am not sure my body could even handle another pregnancy. So much is going on right now. Juliana is a really great baby, a bit fussier than my other two were, or that I can remember anyway. Addison has to go in the get his tongue clipped this week, soon he won't be tongue tied any longer. Kaden has a hydrocele and I have to take him to see a urologist. Juliana has thrush....and the list goes on and on. I have pretty much lived in the doctor's office this week. It is not my idea of fun, to drag all three kids out in the cold to go to the doctor. But hey, that is what being a mom is all about, right? HA! I can't wait to be 100% again, so I can enjoy my kids. So, I need to take my own advice and try to live in this moment, soaking up every detail----as hazy as they can be sometimes through sleep depraved eyes :)

The big day...

2008-10-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

So i figure it is about time to post on Juliana June's entrance into the world. First of all please note that this story may contain details that may be too much for some viewers. If you wish to remain ignorant of what happens during pregnancy and childbirth please don't read any further. Having said that... her arrival on October 25th couldn't have been timed any better. My parents were in town visiting and that provided my ideal circumstances.

That morning we were headed out for a full day of fun with Grandma and Grandpa. We started by taking a trip to Toys R Us. The boys love going and looking at all the toys. We spent awhile there walking up and down all the aisles. I noticed that I was very crampy but I figured it was just this polyp that I have had for a few weeks and it tends to do that. It really has made this last month pretty uncomfortable. On top of that, I get cramps and contractions all the time. So I go about my business trying to be excited with the boys.

Lunch time is around the corner, so we head over to the Pizza Hut for a buffet. There is nothing more appealing to a pregnant woman than all you can eat pizza. Especially now that my heartburn was gone. YUM!!

Ok, now on to more fun. Chuck E Cheese's. Even though both I and the boys are dog tired we go to Chuck E Cheese's because we told Addison that we were going there after lunch. He loves that place. But this is Saturday and it is super crowded and noisy. At any rate, while we are there I start up my Braxton Hicks contractions every 5-10 minutes on top of my crampy belly and back. I really feel pretty aweful, so I plop down on a bench and watch everyone have fun. I think to myself...maybe this is it! Isn't it weird that I am laboring in the Chuck E Cheese?

We go home and I relax on the couch. I am wondering what to do. Do I go into the hospital only to be sent home because my contractions taper off. They seem to have slowed down or gone away completely. The polyp I have is the size of Texas and it is making me miserable. So I call Labor and Delivery and ask them what I should do. They tell me to come on in and get it checked out. So off we head...fully expecting to be sent home and told to just deal with it.

When I get to the hospital at about 6:30pm they put me in a labor and delivery room. Check me out... I am 6 cm!! So I really was in labor. Ha, good thing I called. The contractions start up again only they are in my back. Ohhh...that is why my back hurt. They were 4-5 minutes apart. Immediatly I ask for the epidural, just to get everyone going that direction. I am not going to miss it this time. About a half an hour to 45 minutes later I still haven't had my epidural.. come on people we have limited time here. I have been laying in bed with the back contractions...which is not ideal and makes them hurt a whole lot more. I tell Nate that either they get here with the epidural or I am standing up... and I know fully well once that happens it is only a short time before baby will come. I ask everyone who comes in the room... can I get my epidural? Annoying...I know. They give me not one but two IV's. One for me and one in case my polyp ruptures and I bleed real bad. They even take some extra blood in case I need it. I HATE IV's!!!

7:30 and finally my epidural is here. It was quick and pretty much painless. I feel my body relax over the next half hour, even though I am still shaking all over. I can feel it go to my left leg...but nothing in my right. Oh no, it only worked half way. My doctor breaks my water and I know it wont be long now. But I really want to numb my right side too. I can feel the intense contractions in my right side, so I breath through them. It wasn't too bad really, I am thankful that I had at least half a numb body. The nurse pushes the epidural button about 5 times to see if we can get it to work. I look at the clock and tell Nate, this baby is going to be here by 9:30...it is 8:30 right now. It was amazing how I could actually feel the baby moving down the birth canal. So I called the nurse and told her I was feeling lots of pressure. When she checked I was at a 10 and ready to push. In come the doctors and nurses. He tells me to push, so I do...3 times and then he says... oh push one more time lets get his baby out!!

Up she plops on my belly. And at that moment all of the past nine months seem to make sense. The sickness, the hip pain, the stupid polyp, the weeks of contractions, the sleepless nights, the shortness of breath...it all makes sense. I get this precious little baby out of the whole ordeal. Somehow I forgot about that part. It sounds silly to say and may be even sillier to read. It was the most unreal birth I have had yet. It is like reality slapped me in the face with this beautiful baby girl. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. And at that moment I felt like I could have a million more.

Juliana June
October 25th, 2008
9:12pm
8lbs 11oz
19" long

The ticking time bomb

2008-10-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

So, here I sit 37 1/2 weeks prego and my body is one raging hormone. When did that happen? I have done so well this pregnancy keeping my cool. We moved, had a busy summer and just now I am feeling at the end of my rope. Go figure. Everything in my body is telling me that it is time for this baby to come. I have contractions every time I move...literally. Sometimes they last for an hour or two and then disappear. It leaves me anxious and tired, irritable and at a loss for self control. Last night I slept all of 20-30 minutes at a time. Between being uncomfortable and this little girl flipping around I couldn't manage to sleep much. I know, blah blah blah -- boo hoo hoo. This is what I wanted, be thankful that I have this precious one growing healthy inside of me. I remind myself of these things every day and that is the only way I can make it through. I really try not to complain, but this is my blog, so I figure I should be honest here.

So where does that leave me...a ticking time bomb. I never know if the contractions will continue. If I will actually make it to the hospital in time for an epidural, since I actually want one this time. Do I risk it and go to my due date, knowing that this could be another 9 pounder that rips me inside out. Whoever told me that it hurts the same if it is a 5 lb baby or 9 lb baby must have never had a 9 lb baby. Because those bowling ball heads can do some damage. Or do I schedule an induction a week early just to get it all going with a slightly smaller baby? Does a few ounces really matter? I am currently 3cm dilated, so really it shouldn't take much to get things rolling. So many thoughts...I just haven't made up my mind yet.

Big Mama

2008-09-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

This is the best photo I have for now, thanks to my budding photographer, Addison. I am huge. I am really ready to have this baby now. Only a month to go!! There are so many thoughts as to how this will all work out with me being in the hospital and then home with the boys. It seems that Nate's rotations this month will be taking every bit of the day...and then some. Just when we were hoping that it wouldn't be as demanding. I am sure I will survive somehow... I always do.

My baby went to Preschool!!

2008-09-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

Oh I never thought I would be so emotional about Addison going to preschool. I mean, he goes lots of places for Sunday school, babysitting, and all sorts of things, but preschool is just a big step for me. He was so very excited to get to wear his backpack and go to school like Daddy. I cried a little bit when I was getting him ready for this photo...but of course he was too excited to notice. So.. I took him to class and he had no problems playing with the other kids. I went to pick him up and as all the other kids greeted their Moms with hugs and squeezes....Addison comes out with a scowl on his face and gives me a "love" punch in the leg. Oh joy, I felt so loved. Well not really, I felt sort of embarrassed and a bit sad. I was truly excited to see him, and he did not seem to want to return that emotion to me...or so I thought.

After our wonderful reunion... I talked to him about how that isn't really a nice thing to do to Mommies, or anyone for that matter. How that makes me feel sad on the inside ( all that mushy Mom stuff -- with maybe a few tears on my end). I would so much rather have a big hug from him. So, the next time I dropped him off I said " Mommy will be back and I am waiting for my big boy hugs and kisses because I will miss you soooo much." Well, it worked. Turns out he really does love me, because without fail, every single time I pick him up he runs out with a smile on his face and jumps into my arms. He also whispers in my ear " I love you sooo much." I think he just didn't know how to tell me how much he missed me!!

Corn!!

2008-09-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

The boys love to help me with the corn. Look at Kaden's intense face and Addison just loves to cheese for the camera!

More Mamas

2008-09-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

So I attended a moms group today at my church. It went really well and am glad to have to opportunity to connect with other moms. It is funny though how I have culture shock going back to a larger city with the "business" folk. I now get the comments about how close the boys are in age and even that I am expecting a third child. HA! I laugh because in the 'ville that was commonplace among my Mormon friends. If the boys aren't with me, everyone assumes this is my first child...maybe I do look young after all. At any rate, I don't mind it at all. I love my family and am proud of my fertility!

I am quickly realizing that soon, yet another change will be taking place in our family. Am I ready for the challenge? I hope so. Today I was so tired from being up with heartburn last night, that I got very impatient with Addison. He has decided that naps are now optional, leaving me without one as well. I don't function well without sleep. Needless to say there were raised voices, tears and a few "I'm sorry"s spoken. I can only pray that God will provide the strength and patience when I need it.

Kaden has decided that he is going to use the potty...with or without me. Yes, it isn't my doing. He will go all by himself. I guess it is time to go all out and do underpants. Not my ideal timing, but then again, nothing ever is. In addition to that he has come into his new found independence. Screaming when he wants to be left alone or do something by himself. Sort of grating on a tired mom's ears. I am not sure how many times I have said "Kaden stop screaming" today. Maybe tomorrow I will count:)

So my days are long, but I love the kisses and hugs and snuggles. I love whenever Addison finds a flower(weed) in the yard and runs and gives it to me "because I love you", he says. He longs to be with me, but in his own 3 year old way tries to push me away at the same time. What a struggle! I love when Kaden sucks on his baby fingers and snuggles into my shoulder. I asked him today if he was mocking me - after repeating everything I said- his response "YES!"

My first blog entry

2008-09-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

So I finally did it! I have a blog.

Now all I need to do is figure out what to write about. I guess I will figure that out as I go. To start with I will introduce the name of this blog. In life I have learned that no matter what, you can't hold your breath. You might just lose consciousness and let life pass you by. Rather we must persevere and learn to approach every situation as if our attitude actually makes a difference. Only then can we learn to truly enjoy every stage, every moment that is filled with dirty diapers, temper tantrums, and piles of laundry. Have I arrived... NO. But at least by reminding myself of this I can learn to experience the moment rather than hold my breath and wish it away!